Ever thought about complaining about your boss? One of our HR experts, Lynne Bennington, discusses if 'sharing is caring' and how who you complain to may help.
When you think your supervisor has been unfair do you get angry and ‘let off steam’ to a co-worker or possibly to a friend outside the organisation?
Suppressing anger can lead to physical and psychological issues so getting the anger off your chest could be healthy; it might help you make sense of the experience and get ideas about how to handle the situation. But is talking about the unfair treatment always a good idea?
Certainly one English proverb tells us that ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ but another one tells us the opposite: ‘a problem shared is a problem doubled!’
Talking about what made you angry can helpbut it may alsohelp keep the experience alive in your mind, increase your anger and prevent you from moving on. Difficult situations may remain unresolved and if your anger engenders a similar reaction in co-worker confidants then the problem shared may more than double in size. Thus, the reaction of the listener is critical to the outcome.
Confidants or other listeners might respond in a number of ways to complaints about a supervisor: they might legitimize the anger by agreeing with the complainer, they might sympathize, they might appear to ignore the complaint, or they might provide an alternative explanation or ‘reframe’ the situation.
Recent research reported in the Academy of Management Journal suggests that employees will usually complain to those most likely to support their interpretation of the situation. This may make things worse, increase their feelings of anger and make them more pessimistic about whether they will be able to work effectively with their supervisor again. This can set up a vicious cycle of uncooperative behaviour, poor performance evaluations and poor outcomes overall both for the individual with the complainant and for their co-workers.
Therefore, the moral of the story is be careful about who you complain to. If the person is trusted, capable of helping look for solutions, and/or of reframing the behaviours then the outcomes may be more positive.
For example, the listener may have more information than the complainant or be capable or providing alternative viable explanations e.g. the supervisor may have been chastised for the team’s output, or they may be feeling stressed due to work or non-work factors, perhaps they are unwell, or perhaps there is a quite different interpretation of the behaviour or motivation underlying the behaviour that the complainant might accept.
Still thinking about complaining about the boss? Most people have complaints at some point. If so, think carefully about who to talk to. If the listener always agrees with you they are probably not going to add value but may make things worse. Look for someone who is a good listener who is not afraid to challenge your interpretations and who will assist you to think of a positive way forward.
