Why divorce is not just a personal problem

It is a scary statistic, but according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), one in three Australian marriages will end in divorce with the average marriage lasting 12 years. This may seem like a personal issue that has no relevance to work – but with such large numbers; there is a real opportunity for employers to step up to support their workers when it matters.

Personal stress is common and it can have serious and ongoing negative impacts on both employees and employers. It is therefore important for organisations to recognise when there is a need or opportunity to step in and provide the framework for employees to cope through a significant life event.

The COVID-19 storm may have passed, but the ABS are seeing the pandemic as a contributing factor to the rise in divorces, along with social and cultural changes, economic pressures and personal and relationship issues.  Given that divorce evokes a similar stress response as grief, it is critical that employers are prepared.

Divorce is ranked as the second highest stress

When employees experience a change in marital status such as divorce or separation; it can cause significant emotional and financial stress. They may also have to deal with legal issues, custody arrangements or even needing to leave their home. Some workers will also suffer a loss of other relationships as ‘sides’ are chosen. There is no question that divorce can cause significant psychological stress for the individuals involved as well as their children and broader families.

Stress is a normal part of life, but some events or experiences can cause more stress than others. These are called stressors, and they can affect your health, wellbeing, and performance. Different people may find different things stressful, but experts have identified some of the most common and intense stressors in life. According to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, which is a list of stressful life events and their scores, divorce is ranked as the second highest; only behind the death of a child or spouse.

It is therefore important for individuals to seek professional and social support; however it is also important for businesses to recognise and support those who are carry an extra load with a significant life event such as divorce.

Why is divorce bad for business?

There is a clear detrimental impact for individuals going through divorce, but how does it impact businesses? Some of the reasons why divorce can negatively impact organisations include:

• It can lower confidence and motivation, leading to reduced creativity, innovation or productivity.
• It can cause mood swings and emotional instability which may impact teamwork, customer service and communication.
• It can reduce focus and concentration which may lead to poor decision making, accidents or errors.
• It can increase physical symptoms and health problems such as insomnia, fatigue, headaches and dramatic changes in weight. This can impact absenteeism and turnover.
• It can change behaviour and habits whereby employees will uncharacteristically be late to work, withdrawn, unproductive or negative. This directly affects the organisation’s success.
• It can lead to substance abuse which creates a dangerous employee scenario that needs to be managed.

How can employers help workers experiencing divorce?

Firstly, it is important to recognise that not everyone will have the same experience. For some workers, they will be brought to their knees in every shape or form and will find basic functions at work extremely challenging. Other employees may have been instigating or seeking the divorce for some time and may have a stronger ability to carry on with ‘business as usual’. The important thing is to never assume that you understand an individual’s journey as even if you have walked that path yourself, your path may have been very different.

Many organisations post COVID-19 have become very proactive and attuned to employee needs in a way like never before. Leaders have learnt to watch and listen for the unspoken words as much as what the worker tells them. Given the impact to the business and employee wellbeing, it is recommended that employers take some positive steps to show empathy and understanding to employees who are experiencing the difficulties of divorce.

Some of the tangible things that employers can do include:

• Adjust workload or deadlines. Given that divorce can impact an employee’s productivity and performance at work, it is important that employers can reflect on the unique circumstances and provide the worker with some space and latitude. It is not so much about removing requirements, it is more about having reasonable expectations and allocating adjustments.
• Be open and flexible. Divorce can and does impact an employee’s normal schedule and routine, particularly if the worker has children or they need to attend legal appointments. It is important to remember that the worker is not wanting these disruptions, however a temporary change to working hours or locations can be extremely helpful. Open the discussion about what the employee needs and consider what is reasonably possible. Employers will always be guided by minumum requirements, however they may also seek to provide a broader offering based on a unique scenario.
• Consider offering the pause button. Think outside the box for what the employee may be able to access to take some leave. Do they have any time in lieu owing? Would working from home be a solution in the short term? Is there any LSL to access? If finances are not an issue - would they like some leave without pay to preserve their leave entitlements?
• Provide resources for mental health support. Each organisation will vary in what they offer to workers to support their wellbeing. Ensure that the employee is aware of what support services are available to them including an Employee Assistance Program (EAP).
• Develop an ongoing conversation. Many workers will be embarrassed and concerned about showing vulnerabilities during a difficult time. Some may also believe that it will impact the employer’s view about their value or performance. It is important to check in with the employee and reassure them that you are committed to supporting them with their wellbeing. Remember not to be the counsellor – but direct the employee to the professionals.
• Respect their wishes. Going through a divorce is a private matter and not one that employees will generally want discussed. Assure the worker that their privacy is important to you and that you will not share their personal information without their consent. Remember to encourage them to practice self-care and never assume you know what is best for them.

The role of an Employee Assistance Provider (EAP)

An employee assistance provider (EAP) is an organisation that offers confidential counselling and support services to employees and their families, as well as consultative support to managers and leaders to assist them in dealing with personal or work-related issues that may impact performance or health. Each employer makes their own decision as to whether they would like to engage an EAP provider or use an alternative solution. In addition, the level of care will vary depending on the industry, size and nature of the business.  A sample EAP policy can be found here. 

Some of the common issues that an employee assistance provider can help with include:

• Family, relationship, and marriage concerns, such as divorce, separation, or domestic abuse
• Mental health issues, such as stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma
• Substance misuse, such as alcohol or drugs
• Workplace issues, such as bullying, harassment, conflict, or change
• Financial and legal issues, such as debt, bankruptcy, or legal advice
• Career development and transition, such as retirement, redundancy, or promotion

An employee assistance provider will generally offer different types of services, including:

• Counselling: One-on-one or group sessions with a qualified mental health professional such as a counsellor or psychologist. This can be accessed in person, on the phone or through online video calls.
• Referrals: Sometimes the EAP provider will direct the employee to other sources of help or support. This may include legal, a community organisation or a government agency.
• Education: The EAP provider commonly provides information and resources to the employee to assist them to take some control of their wellbeing and work performance.
• Coaching: The EAP provider may provide coaching to help develop skills of the employee designed to develop their skills and empower them to improve their personal and professional goals.
• Critical incident response: This is the scenario when the employee assistance provider offers immediate and ongoing support to the employee and the business in the event of a crisis or a traumatic scenario.

Some of the clear benefits of EAP at work include:

• It can reduce absenteeism, turnover and productivity loss for employers
• It can provide workers with the appropriate tools and support to get them through challenges and nurture their wellbeing.
• It can be accessed usually 24/7 by phone, online or in person.
• It demonstrates to workers that they are not alone and their employer is interested in their health and happiness.
• It forms a key part of the Employer Value Proposition (EVP).

Divorce is not just a personal problem

The old school of management would have told us to run a mile from a conversation about an employee’s personal problems, however we now know that there is nothing more important that the wellbeing of the work group. Employees who are going through divorce may experience reduced focus, confidence, productivity and performance. In addition, they may also suffer from emotional, physical and financial stress. This can all have negative consequences to the employer including increased costs, errors, turnover and even customer complaints.

It may feel unnatural to do so, but if there is someone in your team experiencing divorce; there are many ways to ‘lean in’ rather than to pretend nothing is happening. Your employee is probably grateful for the safe haven of work and the one thing that provides stability and structure. Supporting employees through divorce is a lot more than a compassionate gesture; it is a baseline investment that they will remember long after the ink on the divorce paper is dry.

Further information

For assistance with your workplace matters, Members of Ai Group can contact us or call our Workplace Advice Line on 1300 55 66 77 for further information. Ai Group has Consulting Service on Psychosocial Hazards to support employers and employer them with knowledge and tools. In addition, Ai Group offers a range of development through our training programs. 

Join Ai Group today!

Take advantage of more than 150 years of experience actively solving Members’ workplace issues and representing their interests at the highest levels of national and state government. Being a Member of Ai Group makes good business sense. 

Download our brochure to see why you should join and call us on 1300 55 66 77 or visit our Why join page to sign up for a consultation with one of our member representatives.